Domestic and Sexual Violence Personal Stories II

The story of  "A"

*The stories of suffering and courage come to us, as one might expect, quite rough with mispellings, etc.  We do a bit of clean-up for ease of reading, but we in no way change the details!*

Survivor ? one who lives through affliction

Survivor ? survives in spite of adversity

To survive is to ? remain alive or in existence.  To carry on despite hardships or trauma; and to persevere; to live and persist; to cope with trauma and remain alive in existence; to continue to function and withstand.

I  am a survivor.
I have the ability to withstand the abuse. 

I withstood your abuse.  I withstood your abuse even after fleeing from you physically. 

I Conquered (to gain mastery over or win by overcoming obstacles or opposition, to overcome by mental or moral power) my fear ? YOU.  I prevailed over your abuse. 

I reached the top of the mountain and overcame the rough rocky journey.  I prevailed through all the cuts, bruises, falling down, sexual, physical and mental pain.

I prevailed over years of abuse and continued abuse through the courts, your words and actions. 

I have strength (the quality or state of being strong ? capacity for exertion or endurance) 

I have a strong attribute ? the ability to withstand.I have the capacity to endure much.  I resisted attack ? beat down after beat down ? I resisted the death!!  I resisted the death of my soul and spirit.  I resisted the death of myself ? only to live again but now with much more faith and love and beauty and strength.

I have great physical strength  - I have great physical power to endure beat down after beat down ? kick after kick, slap after slap, bruise after bruise, batter after batter ? I am still standing ? all physically in one piece I had the physical power to endure all that and more and not strike back. 

I am tenacious ? I have showed the power to resist and endure stress, pain and mental, emotional, spiritual, financial, sexual and physical abuse.

I have a strong determination of spirit to make a better life for my kids then living in fear and walking on egg shells, being controlled by guilt and fear.  Being told you never did anything right and in order to have or feel any kind of love it was conditional on the fact of if you we were doing things HIS way and HIS way only.  I have the strong determination of spirit for my kids to be happy and healthy.  To be loved unconditionally and to feel secure in who they are and what they do.  To feel secure to speak their mind and have their own feeling and not live each minute because of guilt.  I have the strong determination of spirit to stop the cycle of domestic violence and addiction.  To set a higher standard of self-worth for my children to strive for and to know the best. 

I am resilient to all the attacks and beat downs you may aim at me and have aimed at me.  I am a strong, resilient, intelligent, capable, loving, lovable, outgoing, fearless of you.  I can and have endured many nightmares, many blows to my head, heart and spirit!  But look at me ? I am still standing strong and even stronger then before.  My kids are beautiful, my life is beautiful and the joy radiates from their heart because I AM A SURVIVOR.  This is what I have given myself and my kids the tenacity to endure when the mountain gets to steep to keep on climbing because after all the hard work, sweat, heartache and tears ? I have overcome, I have reached the top of the mountain and the air is clean, the sun is shining ever so beautiful and I am FREE ? I AM FREE.  My heart is open and I can breath ? I can feel and I can smile ? I am FREE I am FREE. I have endured! I have withstood and I have overcome?. I am a strong survivor.

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