Love, Hate, and Forgiveness...
I loved him because he was My Husband.
I hated him because he became my Abuser.
I forgave him because he brought me Roses.
I loved him when I looked at our Wedding Album, remembered our Honeymoon and thought about all the wonderful gifts he kept giving to me.
I hated him because his words and his fists attacked me again.
I forgave him because HE MADE ME!
I loved him because I was YOUNG?
I hated him because he BROKE ME?
I forgave him because I just did not know any better.
I loved him because......Why? I did not know anymore.
I hated him because I DID!!!
I forgave him because I needed to just forget!
He loved me because he said he did.
He hated me because I LEFT him.
He will never Forgive me......for What?.....he asked.
I loved him because he was my husband.
I hated him for all the bruises.
I forgave him because I NEEDED TO.... so I could LIVE!
To all the women who feel that they love, hate and forgive the men in their lives when it hurts so much. To all the women who feel they have to explain to the people in their lives WHY THEY STAYED. You do not need to explain it! People always want to know why you did not just leave...(there is lots of help available to you...they comment)....if they have never walked a day in your shoes then how can they even begin to understand. How can you explain to them that it is a mourning process....first you are shocked, then in denial, next comes angry, then hurt again and the sadness just about kills you...finally you SIMPLY GET MAD and then there is a forgiveness period. At that point you know a part of you has died. You bury that part and then you emerge as an altered person in a world of people that ask you why you did not leave. How you go forward will ultimately be up to you. You will however always have people say to you that they do not understand how you let yourself become a VICTIM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!!!
(Author is now happily remarried and 10 years out of this nightmare!)
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